The Crucible
by BabyFirefly3538
Summary: Poor as dirt, Stella lives with her dying father trying to get by each day. The first time she met the king and his son, she didn't leave a good impression. She'll work hard to start over with them and in the mist of ignoring her crush on Arthur, Merlin comes in and finds out not just that secret, but another as well.
1. Use Your Fist And Not Your Mouth

**Merlin is an amazing T.v show that I just love. I never really like Gwen, so I'm making my own solution. This story will start by starting their relationship, and then getting into some action. I don't have a play by play such as books for this, so this is all my own. **

**I don't own Merlin at all, or any of the characters except for Stella. **

* * *

**_1\. Use your fist, and not your mouth _**

Stella glared at the girl in front of her. The girl had Black hair and green eyes that were filled with hatred as she looked upon Stella. Her puckered mouth spit insults at Stella.

"You are useless! It's no wonder you haven't gotten any friends! Look at you! Dressed in hand me downs, and covered in dirt from slaving away in a garden. You are a servant, and you will always be a servant. Now," the girl stalked towards her threateningly and grabbed Stella by the collar of her worn dress. "Get out of my sight, go back to your stupid, inbrid, mother."

Stella's blue eyes filled with tears as she shoved away the girl and turned on her heals to walk home.

"Oh, and Stella, before you go, would you mind having your coward of a father to come and muck out our barn, pull the weeds, and be the lowly piece of shite that he is? My papa will give him a penny for it all, which I'm sure you all will appreciate. " Stella lost it. Her pale fist went flying into the girls face and she felt the cartilage snap as blood fell from the bullys nose. The girls friends ceased laughing and started screaming. The girl reached up and pulled at Stellas dirty, unwashed hair.

The rubber band came loose and fell into her mouth as Stella wailed on her. She couldn't stop hitting the girl. Somebody yelled out help and was shrieking at the top of their lungs. Stella paid them no mind as she was lost in her own mind. Every taunt that came at her had fueled her anger.

Every time she had been silent. She would clench her fists in anger and walk away. She was lower class, poorer than dirt, and her mother was sick. Her father was aging much faster than other peoples fathers from all of the work he had to do to put a meal on their table every night and she barely saw him any more. She didn't think her father was a coward, like others had called him. She thought he was thinking about his family, and was greatful he had run away.

A beast with three huge heads, a dog or a Cerberus as it was called, had attacked the village. It took out many of the kings guard and the knights had not been ready for the attack and were still trying to get armor and weapons. Several of the towns folk had tried to help get rid of the beast, but not Alphazar Bealter. He had gathered his family and run to the outskirts of the woods. They had hidden.

And the town held it against him. Blamed him for the casualties of the town. All he had done was protect his pregnant wife, Anastarria. Ten years later, it was now effecting his only daughter.

Rough hands pulled her away from the girl she was on top of, and she let out a defeated cry. Tears ran down her face. Guards dressed in Camelots colors helped the girl up and another held Stella in place. She was roughly pulled into the arms of the guard and led to the town square. She would be kept there until her parents were retrieved. The guards that remained there, stood and talked.

"We can't just let this go unpunished," one whispered. "A young girl or not, she was hostile to another in public."

"You are right. Maybe we should give her a right scare then. Show her the dungeons and threaten her if she does it again?"

"That may work," the first replied again and grabbed her by the arm again. She was only ten and was very scrawny so even though it was unintentional, the action hurt her, and she winced. "Come on girly, to the dungeons with you."

"Wait," she pleaded. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean too!"

"What's done it done," he said and pulled her through the castle doors. They walked down the hallway when a very well dressed man and two pre-teens were at his side. It was King Uther, Prince Arthur, and miss Morgana. Uther was a young king with a fine jaw line and a head full of thick black hair. He had a scar on his face from the Cerberus and a dimming twinkle in his blue eyes.

Arthur was handsome with his blonde hair, just a shade darker than Stella's, and his blue eyes were bright and his mouth was set in a line as if he was deciding what expression to take. The small dirty girl found herself blushing at the sight of him. She had never met him, but she had heard from her father that he was a bit of a prat, and was about three years older than her. Morgana was an orphan that Uther had taken in when his friend, her father, had died.

She was very pretty. Her cheeks were losing their baby fat at the age of 13, and her dark blue eyes were light and happy. Her black ebony curls were sweeping her shoulders and her pale lips halted as her statement was interrupted. Uther looked at the guards and Stella.

"What is this?"

"The girl started a fight in the market place. Thought we would scare her and show her the dungeons."

Uther hummed and looked at her. He then bent to one knee and gave her an intense look. "Why were you fighting?"

"She berated my mother, father, and I. I couldn't turn away from it again."

"How long has she been doing that?"

"For as long as I can remember. All of the towns children do it, sir."

"You are Bealters daughter, aren't you?

"I am."

"Stella, is it? I've never met your father, but his vegetables are always worthy for my kitchens."

"Then why don't you pay him more than three dimes for the load?" She couldn't stop herself, it seemed. Uther glared at her, but it softened.

"I cannot over pay for a small load of goods, my dear. And as punishment for your actions today, I dock a dime from your fathers pay."

"What? You can't do that!"

"I'm king, I can do as I wish. And I think it is a suitable punishment. You won't be starting anymore fights, will you?"

"No, sir," she mumbles and looks at the ground. Uther demanded that she get back to her parents. The guards led her back outside where her father was waiting. He looked withered and tired as he thanked the guards and took her by her hand. His brown overalls were worn and she spotted another hole. "I can mend those for you tonight, papa."

"No, it's fine. You will eat your supper and go to bed."

"I'm sorry papa. I didn't mean to fight. She just wouldn't leave us alone. I couldn't just walk away this time. She called out a coward, and I snapped. I hit her, and now King Uther is docking a dime from your pay tomorrow when you bring him the next load of vegetables."

He sighed and closed his eyes. After a minute he looked down at her and smiled. "It's alright sweetheart. We will manage. No more fights though, right?"

"Right," she agreed. The rest of the walk home was in silence. After some watery cabbage soup, she kissed her mum and papa goodnight and went to bed.


	2. Part Of That World

**2\. Part Of That World **

Eight years have passed since that awful first impression I made on the king. Now, I am eighteen and I have started over. When I was fourteen I was able to start helping out more. I went to the castle and asked for a position as a maid or servant. She had begged for the position and with the help of Morgana, she had gotten it. For four years I had been stuck mucking out the horses, changing sheets, running errands for Gaius, or helping Guinevere with things for Lady Morgana.

I couldn't complain. Now I was making enough money to help my father and myself live a little more comfortably. My father had practically worked himself into the ground when I was young and now he had Parkinsons and cant even get out of bed to work. But every time I came home I was greeted with a tired smile and asked how my day was. Since my mother died, he became my main support and guardian.

I love my papa very much for everything. I had loved my mother too, but I couldn't really remember a time when she hadn't been sick, asleep, or depressed. Papa was a much bigger part of my life. He held me when I cried, got me out of trouble, listened to my teacher yell when we couldn't afford her school books. I remember he eventually had to pull me out of public schooling and teach me at home when he had the chance.

Now I was rearranging the flowers on the table in the huge dining room. Uther was preparing a ball for Arthur's 21st birthday. I admit that I am excited. I had scraped together some pennies and bought him a present. It wasn't much, just a small square of red cloth the size of an 6 inch parchment and I had sown on in gold the letters AP surrounded by an arch of gold and silver. It was a pretty thing, I thought, and I had no idea what Arthur would think about it. If he would keep it at all or just throw it out. It would be the first thing I ever gave to him, and I was drowning in anticipation.

"Those look lovely, Stella," Gwen said from behind me as she walked up and set up some goblets as well as plates and silverware. After the dancing and festivities were done in the ball room, the guests would venture in here for their meals. I had helped cook the meal and hoped that it was better than last year. I blushed in embarrassment at the memory. I'd burnt the hog that Arthur and a few of the men had caught after about two hours of tracking it. And I had let the mead stay in the ice box so that it hadn't gotten the change to warm up.

"Thank you, I picked them this morning," I said, realizing I hadn't replied to her. Her brown eyes were wide and smiling at me.

"Are you nervous?"

"For what?" She gave me a mysterious grin and turned back to her duties. Her brown skin had a layer of sweat on it from working all day in the hot sun, much like my pale skin did.

"Oh, you know, to give your present to Arthur."

I looked at her with wide, horrified eyes. "How did you know about that?"

"Morgana was talking about it. Merlin and her were joking about your crush on him."

"I do not have a crush on him!" A goblet fell and clattered to the floor. I must have knocked it over with my hand that I guess I had unconsciously threw up. "Why would you think I have a crush on the prince?"

"You always have. Anytime you are near him you blush crimson, and you start to titter. Even Arthur chuckles about it sometimes. He's cruel, using your crush on him to his advantage."

I pursed my lips. It was true. Ever since I was fourteen he had been ordering me around. Every time I would blush and stumble over my words, or make a fool out of myself by knocking something over. He kept coming back with more and more lame excuses to have me wait on him for little things.

'Wash my clothes, sweep the floors, beat the drapes, get me a blue shirt today, Stella, I asked for a white shirt, Stella! You stupid bint!'

I rolled my eyes and kept doing as I was told, never complaining. Actually, that's a lie. I complained a lot. I fought with him like he and Merlin fight. It sometimes led me to fall into tears at night at my fathers bed side, sometimes it left me raving mad, but sometimes, just sometimes, it would leave the both of us laughing.

I left the hall to tell the head maid that everything was ready. She thanked me and waved me off, too preoccupied to deal with me. I was walking down the stone hall to go tell Morgana that I would be leaving. When I got to her room she was picking out her dress for the ball.

"Oh, Stella, help me out here will you? What do you think? The blue one, or the peach one?" The peach dress was floor length and long sleeved. There was lace and jewels around the elbows, wrists, neck, and waist. The dark blue one matched her eyes and was also floor length but had short, off the shoulder sleeves. It had silver on it as well as sapphires and emeralds on it. It also came with a dark blue cloak.

"The blue one, mi'lady." She smiled her satisfaction and put the peach one back into her wardrobe.

"Stella, you are going to the ball, right? I asked Uther to give you the night off."

"Um, yeah...I'm planning on giving Arthur his present."

"I know," she smirks at me. I roll my eyes and bite my lip. "Do you have anything to wear?"

"I've made my own dress," I admit. It wouldn't be anything too grand, but it was made out of dresses Morgana had thrown out. I admitted this with a blush.

"It's fine, I threw them out! I just hope you have fun. Which one did you use?"

"Umm, I used the white one, and the red."

"I rememer, I think. You'll look gorgeous." She picked a cloak out of her wardrobe and put it over her shoulders.

"My lady, what are you doing?"

"I'm going to help you get ready. Gwen will manage on her own, I'm sure."

"You don't have to be so nice to me, and besides, if you help me, you will never be ready on time!"

"I like to make an entrance anyway," she argued and pushes me out the door. We rush through the halls and out of the castle. She walks with me through town until we come to the edge and to my fathers small hut. When we enter I greet my father and introduce Morgana. He huffs out a strangled, low 'hello' and looks apologizes he can't greet the kings ward properly. Morgana waves it off and wishes him well.

We go into my little closet of a room and Morgana sets me down on the cot in front of my small, old, handmade vanity. She rifles through my make up, which wasn't much. I close my eyes as she paints my eyes with what she had shown me was a silver and then a light brown. She then did a coal black eyeliner. After that, she took several bobby pins and a rubber band and pinned my hair into a half up, simple do. And then she braided the small pony tale. After that, she went and grabbed my dress.

It was white, short sleeves that were capped and had a red bow in the back. It was floor length and the bottom was red translucent like with sparkles. It looked kind of like a modest wedding dress. I didn't like that about it, but that's how it had come out. I wasn't the best seamstress. She then grabbed my heals that were also white, and commented that they had once also been hers. I blushed again at that and said I was sorry. Again she waved it off and complimented me.

* * *

I felt like a princess walking through the doors of the ball room. There were a lot of people there, and none of them paid attention to me, for which I was thankful. I waded through the people who were dancing and found myself a corner to hide in and watch people. My eyes scanned the people, looking for Arthur.

I found him standing and talking to Merlin, who wasn't dressed up at all. Arthur looked frustrated, while Merlin looked rather amused. He then laughed out lout and Arthur glared at him and spit something out at him. I could almost hear him saying 'It isn't funny Merlin! I'll have you licking my boots for a month if you don't shut up!' Merlin stopped his loud guffaws but looked like he was trying to contain it. Arthur then looked away from him as something caught his gaze.

I looked over and saw what, or rather who, he was looking at. Morgana had walked into view in the dress I picked for her. She was talking to Gwen and looked up to catch Arthur's eyes. She smiled brightly at him, and he nodded at her. A spike of jealousy bit at me, but I punched it down. He made his way over to her and they began a friendly dance. I averted my gaze when I heard something shift beside me.

"Miss?" I blinked.

"Sorry, what? I'm afraid I had zoned out."

"I asked if you would like to dance. You look a bit lonely."

"Sure, why not?" I smiled at the man. What would be the harm? The man was attractive, I noticed as he took my hand and led me in a dance. He had brown hair with hints of gold in it. He had some light stubble on his jaw and his brown eyes had specks of gold in them as well. His skin was very cold, I noticed as well. It was paler than paper.

I found myself a little afraid of him. He smiled at me; a great hundred watt smile with dazzling white teeth. "What is your name, my lady? Are you of high standing? Close to Arthur, perhaps?"

"I'm Stella. And no, I'm just a servant. I do get to interact with the Prince sometimes, though. Why do you ask?"

"Oh, no reason," he smiled stunningly at me again. "You really are lovely, aren't you?"

"Thank you," I blushed. I seemed to do that a lot. He then pulled me off to the side again as the song ended.

"I wonder, if you would take this for me. It needs to get to Arthur. It's a birthday present you see, and I can't get it to him myself. I have to leave here soon." His voice was low and seductive. I found that I couldn't say no to him if I wanted to. He held out his hand to me and handed me a ring.

It was dark green with a P in neat calligraphy on the large circular surface. Hadn't Arthur been complaining a ring like this was missing a day ago? It didn't matter, I thought as he pulled me closer and ran his lips along my neck. I shivered as his stubble scratched my skin.

"You'll deliver this for me, won't you, love?" I nodded as if I was under a spell. He ran his finger along my collar and smirked. "Good girl." And then he was gone. My head was pounding and I pressed my palm to my forehead as I groaned. What the bloody hell was that?

My eyes found Arthur again and before I could comprehend what was happening, my feat were moving me forward. I waved through the sea of people until I was in front of him. Lady Morgana was no where to be seen. "Prince Arthur," I greeted as I curtsied and bowed my head.

"Ah, Bella, what do you want now?"

"It's Stella, sir," I bit back with a little bit of irritation. He smirked at me.

"You are whoever I decide to call you, _Stella,"_ he sneers. I growl under my breath and hold out my present first. He looks down at it and furrows his eye brows. "What is this?"

"I made it for you," I reply. He raises an eyebrow and takes it.

"Well, that was courteous of you." And he stuffs it in his pocket unceremoniously. I resisted the urge to loose my temper at that. Why does he have to be so rude. "Is that all, servant girl?"

"Uh..yeah," I lie. My hand is clenched around the ring I was told to give to him. He could wait a day for it, for being so rude. His father would find out he lost a family heirloom and loose his head. I smirked at him and he gave me an inquisitive look.

"Then...run along. I don't have time to waste with you."

I rolled my eyes as I turned on my heal and walked away. I passed by Morgana and suddenly found my eyes tearful. She gave me a look and followed me out.

"What's wrong?" She asked.

"Nothing," I replied. She grabbed my arm and looked at me with concern.

"What is wrong?"

"It's nothing, really," I sigh. "Just Arthur being a prat."

"What did he do? Did you give him your present?" I nod and gulp down a knot in my throat.

"I did, and he stuffed it away like it was a used handkerchief."

Morgana scowled in sympathy and brought me into a hug. "You'll be alright. You know how he is. He will express his gratitude in some other way. He may be a prat sometimes, but he is a good and appreciative person."

"I know," I sniffle. "I'm just going to go home."

She nods and wishes me a goodnight. I then go home, after grabbing some food from the kitchens, and feed my father before changing and going to bed.


	3. Living Dead Girl

**Note: To whatswiththemustache; thank you for your review! I hope you like this story. I admit I like it more than the others that I've written, so more of my heart will be put into this one. Sadly, Arthur will be a prat for a while, but eventually, things will change.  
**

**3\. Living Dead Girl**

I put together a morning assembly of fruit for papa and a breakfast omelet and set it on the stand by his bed before I left that morning. The birds were chirping at the early light that was just coming up over the horizon. My feat padded gently through the tall grass that I had to get cut. The air was thick with humidity from the rain last night and the dew on the grass made my baby blue dress damp at the ends. The air smelled wonderful with the mixture of the healthy earth and the scent of the fruit trees near the line of the property. I had a basket in my arms and started filling it with the fresh pears and dwarf peaches that I picked.

I took a single pear and pressed it to my lips as I walked on to the village. I bit into the fruit and almost moaned at the taste. I loved pears, they happened to be my favorite fruit. It was the smallest I had picked so before I entered the market place I had finished it. Some of the nicer people around that were opening up their shops for the day greeted me with a wave or a smile, or in some cases a scowl.

I was passing by a dress shop that a girl about my age was opening up shop. She had dark hair and eyes that I would never forget. I walked up to the shop as she turned to see me. She looked surprised. She had really grown into herself. Her hair was long and strait as an arrow, eyes wide and steely. She was slim and her peddler dress was made of fine cotton, a pale color of pink that complemented her skin.

"Stella?"

"Hello, Rinnae. Been some time, hasn't it?"

"Yes, it has," she said. I was kind of shocked she was being civil. That wasn't Rinnaes character at all. Her and her cronies had always been bullies who picked on people lesser than them. "I see you've changed."

"I have...I work in the castle now," I bite. Her eyes widen in wonder and shock.

"Really? I mean, I shouldn't be surprised. You always have been a servant girl." I glared at her and turned to walk away. "Wait! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you. Please stay and talk a while." The look on her face was pleading, and lonely.

"What happened to Cybil and Stacy?"

"They are gone. When papa...when papa died all the money was gone. Apparently it wasn't ours at all. He had lied to us and left me and Ana orphaned. We live with Madam Hilary now as seamstresses. Although Ana still isn't very good at it."

Ana was Rinnaes special needs little sister. She had never been particularly nice to Ana either. Rinnae had constantly taunted Ana like she had tainted me. Called her stupid, and reckless, and an embarrassment to the family. Ana had a terrible stutter and hardly spoke to anyone. Her eyes were crossed and she was clumsy. I hadn't ever really had the chance to get to know her because her father and sister kept her hidden. She never even went to school.

"I'm sorry to hear that. And I'm sorry I can't stay. I have a job to do."

"Well then come back, won't you?" I bit my lip and looked down. Did I really want to? She seemed to have changed. Unsurprisingly I found myself nodding to her. She grinned and I turned away, quickly heading to the castle. I was already late.

When I got there, I beat the drapes and helped clean the ball room as well as the dining room. I cleaned the thrown room and then the guest rooms. I helped carry bags and cases for leaving guests as well as delivered medicine for Gaius to a guest who had had too much to drink the night before. By the time I was done I collapsed on Merlins bed and complained while he leaned on the wall with his arms crossed.

"You mock my pain!" I joke. He laughed and nodded.

"Oh don't worry about it, I was doing Arthur's chores once too. Wait, I still am."

"You've only been here a year. I've been doing it for nearly five years!"

"Just means you should be more used to it."

"Life is cruel, Merlin," I buried my face in his pillow and groaned again.

"And it's going to get a lot crueler if you two don't get this room clean," Gaius' voice interrupts from the door. I whined again.

"But I don't even live in the sty!"

"Well I'm sure Merlin would like the help."

"_Merlin _can go lick Arthur's dirty boot!"

"I'm right here," Merlin interjects with a goofy grin on his boyish face. Gaius shook his head and closed the door. "You know, you can be just as much a prat as your crush can be."

"Oh, will no one leave that alone?"

"No, it's too funny."

"Is not," I glare at him. He just grins at me and begins to pick up his dirty laundry. He is mistaken if he thinks I'm going to help him with cleaning yet another room. I reached into my pocket then, and grasped the ring in my hand. As soon as my hand touched it, I had this overwhelming urge to give it to Arthur. It was like a voice in my head was demanding that I take it to the prince. I pulled it out and held it in my palm. "Merlin," I said lowly to get his attention. He looked up from his cleaning and dropped his clothes.

"Where did you get that? Arthur's been looking for it for days!" He made a swipe at it but I closed my fist and hid it behind my back.

"Don't touch it! I was told to give it to Arthur."

"By who?"

"I don't know, some handsome fellow. He seemed like it was important that it gets to Arthur."

"Well it is a Pendragon family heirloom, Stella. Maybe he found it and wanted to return it."

"I don't think so. Something was off about him." I moved the ring from hand to hand and looked at it closely. It was really gaudy and I wouldn't like it much, but it was a very old ring and I doubted Arthur would wear it either. "I keep hearing voices every time I touch it. It keeps telling me to take it to Arthur. I think that that might not be a good idea. I've got a bad feeling."

Merlin looked at me with concern. "Voices?"

"Yeah," I nod. "They are more like rushed whispers. I can't really make out what they are saying, except for when they say 'Arthur' and it's like I get a push or something that make me want to sprint to get it to him."

"Maybe you should let me take a look at it," he urged and reached for it. I acted without thinking and yelled out as I pulled it away from him again.

"No, I said don't touch it!" He paused and looked at me with wide eyes. I ignored him and stared at the ring. I held it and opened my other hand, gave Merlin a glance, and slipped it on my finger. White hot pain coursed through me immediately. I couldn't do anything but gasp as the pain reverberated throughout my body. It was like I was on fire, or like I was being branded.

Through half closed eyelids I saw my veins bulge and they were and ugly green and purple. I heard Merlin shout for Gaius and the door slammed open. I could hear the rushed voices of not only the people in the room but the voices in the room. The ring was doing this to me. I was in so much pain that I caressed myself to make it stop. It didn't work and I felt the blood run down my arms as I held onto myself too tightly.

Something was ripped off of my hand and the pain turned into a dull ache. I moaned and felt the tears on my face. My eyes were closed in darkness and some one was holding me. I was familiar with Merlins arms by now and knew it was him. Just by how scrawny they were. He held me tightly and assured me things I couldn't understand before I lost consciousness.


	4. What Hurts The Most

**Note: To lolsforeva, and Guest, thank you for your reviews! I am enjoying writing this story, and hope that you enjoy reading through it. **

**I have just now been brain storming and made myself have conflicted feelings, like I plan to happen with Stella. She is going to have hard things going on with her. Things that I think every teenage girl goes through, and it makes me sad to put her through it. I wish it was avoidable, but since it isn't in real life, I have to make Stella suffer too. Muah haha. Okay, next Chapter. **

* * *

**4\. What Hurts The Most **

I blearily opened my eyes. That was a mistake because I had to squint them shut again because of the light. It was too bright for me to keep my eyes open and it even hurt my eyes while they were closed.

"Stella?" I winced.

"Shut up Merlin, your voice is too loud." Merlin chuckled. The room suddenly had a hush about it now. Had people been talking? I pried my eyes open and almost was into tears at the light. When my eyes adjusted, I could make out who all was in the room. Gaius was there, smiling at me sympathetically. Merlin was there, looking concerned, but happy that I was awake. King Uther was there, looking grave as if someone had died. Arthur was there, he was frowning at me, but he looked relieved.

"Stella, can you remember what happened?" Uther asked me. Gaius shot him an exasperated look, which he was ignored for. Uthers prying eyes were on me and he wanted answers.

"Um, there was a man, at the ball. He gave me a ring that had the Pendragon symbol on it."

"And you didn't think to turn it in right away?"

"My Lord, perhaps we should hear what she has to say," Gaius interrupted. Thank goodness for Gaius. Uther nodded and motioned for me to continue. I told them everything about the voices I had heard all the way up until I collapsed on Merlin's bed.

"Magic," Uther spitted. He looked outraged. "This man must be caught! I want him executed! He tried to have my son killed!" I ended up telling him what the man had looked like and he sent the guards out as he swept from the room.

"You have a very strong body, and mind, miss Stella, that ring was meant to kill," Gaius complimented I smiled at him weakly and tried to sit up. My head felt woozy and I had to lay down before I dry heaved up acid from an empty stomach. I looked over at Arthur, who was still staring at me, and I decided to be cocky.

"Guess that means I saved your life then." Arthur narrowed his eyes at me and then relaxed, rolling those gorgeous eyes of his. "No thanks necessary, sire. It was my pleasure to be put through such an enchantment for you. I now understand why Merlin loves his job so much." Merlin laughed and I could tell Arthur was fighting a smile.

He squashed it though and I felt my heart fall to my empty stomach. Damn him. Then there was the sound of the door being slammed open and Arthurs face went from serious to a splitting grin. I felt the jealousy come back. Morgana raced into the room and found me at once. Her face was a mask of worry and relief.

"You're alright! I heard what had happened, and they wouldn't let me come see you. I was so worried. You may be a servant, but you are also a good friend." I smiled tightly at the beautiful woman in front of me.

"Thank you, Morgana. You are a good friend as well. I'm sorry I worried you so."

"Nonsense! It's not as if you could help it. And besides, you saved Arthur's life! If he had put that ring on, he could have been dead!"

"Alright, you all need to leave," Gaius said, fanning his arms at them. "Let her sleep!" Grumbling, Merlin and Morgana left. Gaius left for a minute to talk to Merlin, and Arthur stayed back. I looked at him confusedly as he sat on a stool beside me.

"Thank you," he said. "I know it wasn't intentional for you to do what you did for me, but, it still happened. And I thank you. Saving my life has been a rather...recurrence lately," he chuckled to himself and scratched the back of his head. I smiled at him and placed my hand on his, which was rested on my, or rather, Merlin's bed.

"You're welcome. Believe it or not... I consider you not only my liege, but my friend. I'll be more than willing to save your pompous..."

"Be careful," he warned playfully. I chuckled and stared him strait in the eyes. His lips were moving, but I had no idea what was coming out. Mind you, I definitely saw them lips though. They were so kissable I wished I could kiss them. But there's no way that would happen. Unless Arthur suddenly became one for unnecessary danger and started snogging maids in dark corners of the castle. "Stella?"

"Hmm?"

"Did you hear a word I just said?"

"Sorry, no." Arthur rolls his eyes in irritation.

"Fine then. I have a whole list of chores for you to do when you recover. Being out for two days has made the castle rather dusty." He got up and left. I groaned and huffed as I fell back asleep.

And to think. We had had a kinda small moment there. Maybe it was one sided, but still. I sighed and closed my eyes, trying not to think about it.


	5. Within You

**5\. Within You**

* * *

I wipe my brow with my sleeve and sigh. How could there possibly be this many chores to do in just two days of absence? I carried a bowl of oatmeal to the princes' chambers and knocked. I had added some of those pears that I had brought and hoped that he liked it. I never could figure out what fruit he liked.

"Enter," his voice boomed out to me and I slowly opened the door. I placed the bowl on the table next to where he lay and averted my eyes. He was shirtless and my cheeks were burning. "I expected you to be Merlin. But then again, he never knocks."

"Sorry to disappoint you, my Lord," I mumbled as I turned to walk away.

"Wait," he commanded. I stopped and turned back to him. "I'm not hungry. Get rid of this rubbish." I bit my lip in anger and defeat and took the bowl back, and then slinked from the room. Quickly I made my way down to Gaius' rooms and knocked. He let me in with a warm smile and I hugged him and continued to Merlin's room. I opened the door with out knocking and Merlin jumped and things clattered to the floor.

"What were you doing?" I asked with a blush. I dared not imagine what it might have been. My mind was somewhat in a dirty place after seeing Arthur half naked. Thankfully he threw back the blanket and his pants were zipped up.

"Stella, what are you doing here?"

"I uh, came to see if you wanted this? Arthur won't eat it." I handed him the bowl and he grinned before he started shoveling the food into his mouth.

"This is good," he said with a mouth full. I grimaced and chuckled and sat on his bed. He sat opposite me and finished the oatmeal in no time. "So, he's being a git again, is he?"

"Yeah," I sigh. "I just don't get him. He can be so nice sometimes. Other times..it's like he has a stick up his arse."

"I know. It's not fair. But you still have me!" He grins at me and wiggles his eyes suggestively. I giggle and feel a warmness in my stomach. "I really like you, Stella," he says after a minute. "What he is doing to you isn't fair."

"I like you too," as I say it, I realize it's true. He always had this charm about him, and he was attractive. He was caring and worried about everyone but himself. He'd been my closest friend for a year and a half now. Suddenly I felt his lips on mine and I sat rigid. My eyes were wide. I had no idea what to do! I've never been kissed before, and I got the feeling that he hadn't either. Like it was an instinct, my body took over for me.

I kissed him back and wound my hands in his dark hair. Our mouths moved in sinc with each other and when we finally pulled back, I started giggling like a little girl. Merlin had this shy smile on his face as he gazed at me. And then we were kissing again, this time faster than before, but it was more out of giddiness rather than passionate. The door opened behind Merlin and there was a gasp.

"Oh, my!" We pulled apart and saw Gaius hiding behind the half closed door looking at the floor. "Sorry to er, interrupt, but Merlin has duties to do with the Prince. "

Gaius' words were like cold water being dumped on my head. I bit my lip and nodded. Merlin gave me a fleeting glance before he nodded to Gaius, who closed the door again.

"Are you going to be alright?"

"I think so," I smiled at him. He smiled back at me and helped me kissed me on the forehead and grinned at me.

"Are you sure? Because I can make you feel better." He winked at me.

"Merlin!" I gasped. "I didn't know you could be so crude!"

"Neither did I," he admits. I chuckle and follow him out the door. I wave goodbye to Gaius who was looking at us like we had grown two heads. I pressed my lips together and left the physician's rooms. I had nothing better to do than to go home, so that's what I did. I walked through the main square and down the path all the way to the cottage. When I got there, I found my father snoring in his bed. I smiled fondly at him and sat by his bed. He startled and opened his eyes.

"Hi, papa. I'm home for the night."

"Good," he wheezed. "You work too hard for a young girl."

"I don't mind. I want to make you get better."

"We both know that won't happen, my girl."

"Don't say that, papa." My dad smiled at me sadly and beckoned about my stay at the castle. I told him everything that had happened. I told him about the man at the ball and the ring, as well as being put under an enchantment. He about had a heart attack until I told him Gaius had gotten me taken care of. I couldn't ever get him to tell me how he did it. He just said that Merlin had a lot to do with it. Papa calmed down and I told him the rest of the story. Arthur being a prat, which made papa frown, and about Morgana being as kind to me as ever. And lastly, what happened today.

Papa smirked at me when I told him what happened between me and Merlin. "He's a good boy, Merlin is. Visits me every now and then."

"He does?"

"Yes, I always get a burst of energy to go on when he comes."

"Really? That's, that's, wow."

Papa chuckled and petted my hair. I hugged him. I wish there was something I could do. Surely, there had to be something? Papa soon stopped petting my head with his shaky hand and I felt his breathing deepen. He had fallen asleep again. I too, drifted off soon after.


	6. Ashes Ashes

**Note: Because my ego has been extremely stroked, I have decided to give you another chapter. This chapter is dedicated to whatswiththemustache. You are a huge motivation for this story. Thank you! As for your reviews, I don't mind all the questions haha. In case you are wondering, the guy from the ball will return. That ring was only the first attempt at assassination. **

**I'm afraid, however, that Stella isn't going to catch a break for a while. Her life is going to be much harder than it was when she was a child. As for whatswiththemustache's questions about Stella having magic, that's too big of a spoiler to give out, because I don't know how to describe it without giving too much away. So you'll just have to wait and see. **

**Here's too another chapter! **

* * *

**6\. Ashes Ashes **

_'Ring around the rosies, pocket full of posies' _

_The children were all at recess and Ms. Trueman was forcing the children to play a game together. She was a hard head, but was tired of seeing Stella sit all by herself on the steps of the schoolroom. The children were all holding hands and Stella was wearing her new dress that her father had spent his savings on getting her for her birthday. It was a nice baby blue dress with a blue satin sash and was wrinkle free. Her hair was up in pig tales with ribbons made of the same blue satin. She was linked hands with Rinnae and a boy named Oliver. _

_'Ashes, Ashes, Stella falls down!' _

_Before she could get the thought of 'huh?' through her head, Rinnae and Oliver had let go of her hand and pushed her into the dirt in the middle of the circle. The students all laughed at her as Stella's eyes filled with tears. Her new dress had a rip in the hem now because she had tried to save herself and tripped over it. The blue of the dress was now covered in dirt and dust and a splatter of blood from where her knee had hit a rock. _

_'Cry baby, cry baby, run to your mommy!' The students all taunted her as tears coursed their way down her cheeks. _

_"That is enough!" Ms. Trueman hurried to the group of students and they parted ways for her. The woman picked up Stella in her arms and gave each of the students a scowl. "Each of you shall stay an hour after school and weed the church garden! Your parents will be notified." The students all complained as huffed and carried her inside. In the door frame, six year old Ana, younger sister to Rinnae by two years, hid. Her crossed eyes were down cast as they passed her. _

_She had been across the street while they were playing, Stella realized. She must have gotten Ms. Trueman. _

* * *

Stella fed her papa a spoon full of soup when there was a knock on the door. She set the food down and strides to the door. When she opens the thick wooden door Arthur stood there looking official. Merlin was peaking from behind Arthurs shoulder and was smiling at her as if he hadn't just seen her yesterday.

"Prince Arthur," she greeted with a curtsy and bow of her head. "I believe I have the day off today."

"You do," he confirmed. "But there are things we need to discuss. May I come in?" He didn't wait for an answer before sweeping into the room. Stella scowled at him, but beckoned Merlin inside. He stopped in the door way and kept his goofy smile on.

"Go on," Stella laughed and pushed him into the cottage. He chuckled and followed Arthur into the sitting room. Stella went back to feeding her papa his lunch while turning down the radio. He was sitting in his big comfy chair, looking at the new comers. "Papa, this is Prince Arthur. And you know Merlin."

"It's lovely to see you again, my prince," Alphazar wheezed weakly. She swear she saw Merlin's eyes flash gold as her dads voice grew stronger. "I haven't had many visitors lately." So this is what he meant. He looked considerably stronger than before the two had shown up. And what was with the gold flash in Merlin's eyes? She would have to ask him later when they were alone. Surely he wouldn't be practicing magic with Uther as king?

"My apologies, Alphazar, I must make a better attempt to mingle with my people. Even the black sheep," Arthur said. Although she knew he hadn't meant it as an insult, she glared at him. Part of her wanted to slap him...over and over again. The other part of her still wanted to snog him senseless. she looks at Merlin and feel a sudden shame. It felt wrong to have kissed him, liked it, and then go on to wish she was snogging his boss man.

Arthur then turned to her. "We need your description of the man that gave you that ring again."

"Oh," her face looked sullen now. "Well he was kind of tall. Maybe 6'1, with a square jaw and some golden brown stubble. And um...his hair wasn't exactly messy, but it wasn't slicked back either. It was brown with golden highlights. And his eyes...they sparkled an enticing shade with gold specks." How could one person have so much brown/gold on them? "He seemed, almost inhuman. His skin was pale and very cold."

"Merlin, are you writing this down?"

"Should I be?" Merlin asks with a cocky grin.

"No, Merlin, we are going to have a description for the artist making the wanted posters by magic! Write the damn thing down!"

"Alright!" Merlin laughs, avoiding the slap to the back of the head Arthur was about to give him. Arthur rolled his eyes and asked a few more questions before leaving. Soon after, there was another knock at the door.

"My, we are busy today," papa commented. Stella shrugged and opened the door. Her eyes widened. Rinnae was standing there looking wide eyed and excited.

"Was that the _prince? _Oh my gosh, you had the prince in your house!"

"Rinnae, what are you doing here?"

"Well, you never came back."

"Oh," Stella said dumbly. She had forgotten all about that little promise. "I had a...hindrance."

"It's alright," she says sadly. "If you don't want me around, I understand. I'll leave you alone."

She almost let her walk off without a thought, but sympathy got the better of her. Why couldn't she just hold a grudge against her and be done with this whole thing? "Wait," Stella called to her. "I'll get my cloak. It's a bit chilly out today. We can go for a walk and...talk."

Her face beamed back out at me with sheer happiness. Maybe she was being genuinely nice. Maybe she really was trying to fix things. Stella kissed her papa goodbye and grabbed her silver cloak. She met Rinnae out by the fruit trees and had to stop herself from throwing a rock at her for plucking the blossoms on the trees that had yet to sprout fruit. She saw Stella and hid the flower behind her back as if she hadn't done anything and looked at the blonde girl innocently. Stella kept a strait face.

"I would appreciate it if you didn't pluck the blossoms off our trees."

"Sorry," Rinnae said and actually had the decency to look sorry. Stella almost rolled her eyes as she led her old bully down the pathway leading to a small pond near the trees. "Stella, that place is rather creepy, don't you think? They say there are terrifying creatures in there, do you believe that?"

"I have no doubt," she responded stiffly as her eyes scanned the trees. She saw something move in them and ignored the stab of fear that hit her. She hated to admit she was afraid of anything. They made it to the pond safely and sat and talked about life.

"Ana's been doing better. Being sixteen now she has learned how to read more fluently. Even though she still has a stutter, it's not as bad as before. She only struggles with the S's, and H's now. She also writes lyrics now and hums when she is tidying up the dresses in the shop."

Stella found herself more and more at home with the girl the more time they spent together out by the pond. She trailed her fingers along a lily pad and moved it around in the water. They had been there for about an hour and a half. "What about that one boy you liked when we were kids?"

"Oliver Kantz? I see him every now and then. He's still single and handsome as ever. He got a new haircut lately. Its short and kind of messy. He's also got these gold specks in his eyes, ooh I wish I had that man!"

Stella grew rigid. Short messy hair? Gold specks in his eyes? But the man at the ball hadn't looked as young as a 19 year old? He looked in his mid twenties at least. But had she even known how old Oliver had been? All the younger year students were mixed with the older students. Oliver had been about a year or two a head of them.

She saw the shift in the trees again and her heart sped up. Something was going to happen. She could feel it. "Rinnae, I think we should go.." Her eyes hastily checked through the trees as she stood and started to push Rinnae down the path again. She could hear something padding along in the forest. It was like all of her senses were on over drive and she could almost taste the musk that vibrated from the creature in the trees.

There was no doubt, it was stalking them. "GO!" Stella yelled as the thing jumped out at them. Rinnae screamed and almost tripped over herself. The thing was moving way too fast to see anything but grey material. It was flashing in a zig zag pattern getting closer and closer.

"What about you?" Rinnae called in a terrified yell.

"I'm right behind you, go!" They darted up the path. Stella's heart was pounding in her chest, and she could feel the blood rushing through her veins. She was so terrified she was sure she would faint. She felt a cold chill run through her entire body as the thing reached out a bony, twig like hand and touched her. Her vocal cords felt frozen and she couldn't scream. She heard Rinnae do that for her as the girl started hurling rocks at the thing.

Stella couldn't see anymore. It was all a black blur. Her hand reached out and grasped the thing around it's bone neck. The things head turned back to her and she had to choke on her terror. It's face was like a burnt skull. It had black holes for eyes and nose holes. It's mouth was jagged with sharp teeth and a crack up its cheek bone.

Stella wrapped the bone in her fist and gave a harsh pull. It barely moved and the creature roared in her face. She bit back tears as she moved her other hand to grasp at it's throat. The thing dug it's other hand into her stomach and she felt the flood flow and the flesh rip. She couldn't scream in pain still, but the tears fell. She was so tired of crying.

She didn't know what happened. One moment the thing was prying at her insides, the next moment the thing was hurtled away from her as the earth cracked below them and a bright blue light zapped the creature away from her. It looked kind of like lightning. Obviously, someone was looking out for her. Stella fell to the ground gasping , coughing, and crying. She then heard the shouting.

She saw Rinnae first. She was leading a group of men to her from up the path. She lay back on the ground, bleeding and hurt, and looked up at the sky. It was darker by at least an hour. How long had she been in that things clutches? She was barely conscious when a face came into view. He had reddish colored hair and green eyes. He was peering at her in concern.

His fellows had scared off the creature and were now surrounding her and Rinnae. These were nights of Camelot.

"Are you hurt?" Blearily, Stella looked around her and at her gut. She was shocked to find that she wasn't hurt at all, except for a scratch, and bruising on her shoulder, neck, and forehead. When had the thing attacked her neck and forehead? And what about when it stuck it's hand into her? "Are you hurt?" The man repeated.

She couldn't respond. Her head was swimming and she could barely make out what was being said to her. She was quickly falling into the habit of getting herself in dangerous positions, wasn't she?

"She's in shock!" The guard yelled and picked her up gently. She whimpered and rested her head on his shoulder. "Ooh, ooh, oh, it's alright. We've got you now. We'll get you taken care of. It's alright now," he consoled her in a gentle voice, as if he was talking to a child. She couldn't protest though, and simply was rocked to sleep by the sway of the mans body as he carried her.

* * *

**Note: Okay I think this is my longest chapter yet. I hope it pleases you! Don't forget to leave a review and tell me what you think? Really, it pleases me a lot and boosts my ego. A LOT. Haha. What do you think is with that thing that went after her? Any ideas? And what about Oliver? **

**Do you think Rinnae is being genuine? What do you think is happening with her? Please, I'd love to hear your opinions! **


	7. Heart Shaped Glasses

**Note: I'm probably going to be doing the story in 1st person now, let me know if you like it or should go back to 3rd person.**

* * *

**7\. Heart Shaped Glasses**

I had had to go in and tell Uther what exactly had happened. I left out the part of the blue light and said that after it had stuck it's hand in my gut it backed off. I wasn't exactly sure what the blue light had been. I've never practiced magic a day in my life, and I hadn't felt anything magical come from me. It couldn't have been me. Someone or something had been there, protecting me, I was sure of it.

Uther had been alarmed that such a creature was in his kingdom and wanted the thing tracked and killed. The problem was, no one knew what it was. Even Gaius had to promise to do research on the thing and I was going to help them any way I could. My father was worried sick about me, and getting weaker by the day. There was a feeling of dread in my heart that I was the one that was making him iller than he already was. The worry for him had me skipping meals or just playing with my food when I did go eat. Arthur offered me a place in the castle for when the day came that my father would pass on, but I didn't know if I would take him up on the offer or not.

Currently, I am sitting in Morgana's chambers brushing her hair. We are both silent, not knowing what to say. Gwen is in the room too, tidying up the room and making the bed. She kept sending me concerned glances that me. I wished she would stop. I didn't like pity, but I appreciated that people cared enough to give it to me. The people here in this castle were the family I never had, and I loved them as such. No one could replace my mama and papa, but they came close to being my brothers and sisters.

I imagined Merlin as a brother and almost snorted, in amusement and in disgust. That would have meant that I had snogged my brother. _Incest is best kept in the family, I guess. Ewww I did not just think that! _

Morgana turned and looked at me, probably feeling me chortle silently. I smiled and shook my head at her as I began to braid her hair. As I braided it, Gwen handed me some flower pins and put them in Morgana's hair. She looked like a princess herself. Jealousy was a terrible, ugly thing. I knew I wasn't exactly plain, but I wasn't as beautiful as Morgana. Where she had long, wavy dark curls and eyes like the stormy blue sea, a lean body with curves to make a man drool; I had long strait platinum blonde hair and stoney silver blue eyes. My body was lean, but I wasn't toned at all. I had small curves that you could only see if I wore a corset dress meant to fit to the body. I didn't have any of those, save for the white and red one I went to the ball in.

I shivered, remembering the ball. I didn't want to remember that, so I shook my head.

"Are you going to move in here?" Morgana spoke.

"I..I don't know. I really don't want to think about my papa dying. I have enough to worry about."

"Yes, I'm sorry for bringing it up. Are you feeling alright? I mean with the attack and everything."

"I feel fine, my lady," I reply. I didn't want to talk about that either. I'd had enough with danger and hurting lately. Morgana seemed to get the message and shut up. When I was done with her hair I stepped away and bowed my head as I excused myself. I stepped out into the hall and took a breath. I really wanted some sleep. I was exhausted and my head ache was coming back. It's been going away and coming back since the attack yesterday. Gaius assured me that I was fine and that I only had bruises and a scratch.

I was still confused about that. I had felt the blood, I had seen it. I had felt the skin split and the flesh tear and the bone of the things hand reach inside of me. I had felt the pain.

My feet started moving down the hall and my mind kept racing. Why had that thing attacked me? Why had Oliver asked me to give that ring to Arthur? Why did it feel like my insides were rotting?

Why _did _my insides feel like they were rotting? I felt cold, and sick. My head was pounding by now and I felt like I was going to throw up. My throat was dry and I needed some water. I made my way to the kitchen and got myself a glass and some water. It tasted vile and I ended up spitting it back up. I fell on my knees and began hacking.

What was in that water? My throat felt like I was pouring baby food rice cereal mix down it. It was dry and tasted fowl on my tongue. My chest burned as I kept hacking.

"Whoa!" I felt arms wrap around me and somebody holding me close. I coughed into my hand and when I finally calmed down and pulled my hand away, there was blood. "What's going on with you?" I looked up into Merlin's concerned eyes.

"I don't know. I feel terrible."

"Come on then, I'll take you home."

Merlin walked me home through the town. He chatted idly about anything and everything but I was too busy being paranoid and checking my surroundings. When we made it to the edge of the village where the trees started to sprout, I especially got nervous. I was shaking and terrified of those trees. Merlin held me close as we walked down the path and into the house.

"Papa?" I called. It was strange not hearing his breathing. "Papa?" Panic spread through me as I ran to his room and threw open the sheet that made a make shift door. "Oh thank god," I breathed as I found him awake.

He was breathing shallowly, but he was alive. I went to his side immediately and clasped his hand in mine. "What's...that?" He breathed with half closed eyes. Tears were gathering in mine. _No, not now! Please not now! _His eyes were pointed at my chin and I shakily ran my thumb along my chin. I had left over blood on my chin and my stomach churned. I looked over at Merlin. Something told me he could help.

"Merlin, help me. Please," I begged. Dad's breath was fast and short. "Merlin!" The boy looked panicked and his eyes flashed gold. "Help him! Merlin, please, do something!" I was sobbing by now. Not my papa! Please no! Merlin started muttering something that a I couldn't understand and his eyes were pleated gold.

I closed my eyes as the tears kept coming. Merlin said something else in the same strange language, this time it was louder. I opened my eyes and started babbling. After several minutes, there was nothing Merlin could do. My dad's eyes were open as he looked at me, and his mouth was open as if he was trying to say something. His chest stopped moving and I was in hysterics.

"No! No! Papa! Come back! Come back!" My voice broke as I kept shouting. "I love you! Come back! Papa!" I hugged him as I sobbed. This day was the worst day of my life. I hadn't been like this even when mama died. I couldn't do anything but cry as Merlin pulled me away and held me. His jacket shoulder was getting soaked.

After a while I ran out of tears and just weeped dry. Merlin sighed and closed my papa's eyes. "Now he could be sleeping," he murmered softly.

"Merlin," I said almost inaudibly. He pulled me into his lap and I rested my head on his shoulder again. He picked me up and carried me to my room. We lay on my cot and he started telling me about his magic. I was amazed. He hadn't started practicing it until he go there in Gaius' care, but he'd been able to do magic all his life. He thought it was something you could be born with. It made sense really.

Talking about magic made me think about the attack again. I told Merlin about this and he was quiet before smiling sad at me and promising me we would figure everything out. Merlin's hand squeezed mine and he leaned in. We kissed. Being with Merlin felt natural, like we were normal people, with normal lives. It was far from the truth, but it was nice to have the illusion. Merlin was warm against my body, and his lips on mine made me feel a little better.

It was an innocent kiss, but not as experimental like the first one had been. I sighed and pulled away, resting my head on his chest. He drew circles on my back and I quickly fell asleep on Merlin.


	8. Broken

_A/N: Sorry for the long wait! I moved, and there's no internet at my house, so I have to do this all at school, and re-write everything I had on my computer to update. So they may be few and far between. I haven't forgotten about this book! _

**8\. Broken **

**I am damaged at best, like you've already figured out**

It's been getting worse. That dry feeling inside of my body. Water tastes, and feels, like sand running down my throat. I dry heave into whatever I am near when I feel like I was going to throw up. Sometimes Merlin would treat me with a cool rag when I would break out in a fever. Other times he would tuck a blanket around me when I would be cold as ice. I hadn't been able to look into a mirror because when I did, I saw a withering, pale, corpse. I had lost a tremendous amount of weight, and my breath was shaky and uneven.

Gaius would give me healing solutions and tonics to help me get better, but they never worked. Some of them even seemed to make my sickness worse. Gwen came to see me and so did Morgana. I could barely talk to them without crying. I couldn't even manage real, wet, tears. My skin was dry and cracked around my eyes. They offered condolences for my father and they worried over my condition. They stay with me for hours, talking and dusting the room, or bringing flowers that make my nose itch. But as of right now, I am alone.

For the first time in a long time, I actually feel utterly alone. No joke Merlin would make made me laugh. My father was dead. I am dying. My skin feels as if it is rotting off of my bones.

I look out the small window by my side. Everyone in the court is buzzing around, perfectly happy, perfectly healthy. Whatever did this to me must be laughing it up by now. I felt my skin crack again as I started to cry. My shaky hand tussled through my thinning blonde hair and I just feel so old. Bile rose in my throat again, but I knew it wouldn't come up. Dry heaving is exhausting.

The door opened and the prince stepped inside. His blonde hair was freshly combed and he wore a burgundy shirt, black belt, and sage green trousers. Actually, they looked more like tights, but I wouldn't tell him that. Unfortunately, the look on my face must have outted me because he glared at nothing and sat himself beside my bed.

"Merlin made me wear these," He explains. "I don't even know why I let him pick my wardrobe, but there was no time to change. Princely duties, you know."

"Right," I chuckled. Arthur folded his hands and rested his forearms on his knees as he leaned forward.

"Gwen and Stacey have taken over your duties. My father doesn't think that you have...much time..."

"Arthur...," I didn't know what to say. Part of me knew this was coming. I didn't blame Uther as I believed I would be gone soon. I already felt like death. I felt bad that Gwen and Stacey-a girl I never even met- are doing my chores. I wanted to tell Arthur something about how I had felt about him, but it felt like a betrayal to Merlin. You could have feelings for two people? Would it be cheating if I admitted it to Arthur? It isn't like Arthur and I would become anything, for multiple reasons. So instead, I only said: "I'm sorry."

His chiseled face morphed in confusion. "For what?" _For not being able to tell you._ No, I couldn't say that. _For dying. _Why would I be sorry for something I had no control over? But I was sorry. I purse my chapped, yet oddly soft lips.

"For a few things. I feel like I failed you some how. I feel like I'm failing Merlin, and everyone I care about. For adding extra chores onto the other girls. I wish I was stronger than what I really am."

His eyes were soft, and I think a little watery. He sucked on his bottom lip and looked down, thinking. It was silent for a while before Arthur looked at me again. His hand shook as he moved a strand of hair from my face and sighed. "I think you are very strong, Stella. If this were me, I would be miserable. I would probably be making Merlin run insane so that he would speak ill of me more than he does now. If there is anything you need. Anything at all..."

"I'll call," I interrupted with a small smile. He leaned forward; his face so close to mine.

"I will find what did this too you. Father and I know this was magic, and I will hunt the monster down. I give you my word, he will suffer." His words were a mix between angry and tender. His face came closer and my heart rate increased to unreal speed. His lips were closing in on me, and he planted them on my cheek. There was a burning sensation on the corner of my mouth where he had kissed me, but it was replaced with a tingle and my face heated up. I was blushing mad as he stood from his place and straitened his puffy shirt. I noticed how the neck of his shirt was low, showing off some tanned skin that made a stir in my abdominal. Arthur nodded at me, his cheeks slightly flushed, and turned around.

He opened the door and ducked out, and I was alone once again. My head spun and heat was still coursing through me. I folded the blankets off of me and stuck my leg out so that it hung off of the bed. My forehead was sweaty and I was thirsty. Nothing was making sense anymore. I was going insane, forgetting things too, I realized. I couldn't remember what the date was, and the memory of what I used to look like was distant. What was my life like, when I wasn't scared? A heavy weight was put on my chest and a pain in my side made me grown. I wish I had a happy place to return to, but I couldn't remember what my happy place was.

My bony fingers traced the side of my mouth and cheek that the prince's lips had been minutes before. I knew that not all kisses were romantic, that you could even kiss someone on the mouth and it could be just a nice gesture of affection, but to me Arthurs kiss had been so intimate. I feared that it made me lusty, in a way that kissing Merlin never had...yet. I probably never would get to kiss Merlin again in days to come.

I could be dead within a few hours.

**Merlin P.O.V**

"I will not let her die," I shouted to the cloaked figures around me. I held a tree branch as my only protection against these people. Druids; the magical folk hiding within the forest in fear of the king.

"We cannot help you," the scruffy blond man pressed. Anger was quickly taking over my patience with this guy. His mossy eyes pierced at me, and only made me angrier.

_Emrys. _

I made a 180 spin and saw a boy stepping out from behind a man with chestnut hair. It was Mordred, the boy Morgana and I had let flee to safety not so long ago. My shoulders slouched in relief. He would help me, I knew he would.

_I have something for you. _

Mordred pulled from behind him a large leaf. It was wrapped around something small and rectangle. I stepped toward him as he moved towards me.

"Will this save her?" I asked. He simply looked at me with the innocence I knew he wasn't. He was old in his mind, yet young on the outside.

_This will help. _

That was all he would give me as he turned away, and the blond man shooed me away. I was numb as I walked back to the castle. This will help, he had said. Help, not cure. That meant anything from killing her faster or taking the pain away, to making her better or presentable. Able to walk, perhaps.

I hope that she will get better.


	9. Once Upon A Dream

**9\. Once Upon a Dream **

_I know you I walked with you once upon a dream..._

The baby with a tuff of blond hair and sparkling blue eyes giggled up at a man with wavy dirty blond hair and black inky eyes dull from years of disappointment. The baby had one of his large fingers wrapped in her chubby hand. The child had a very tight grip for one so young. The man had a rather hawk like nose that he looked down at the baby girl grinning at him with only two teeth on her bottom of her jaw. She squeals laughter, but the man doesn't look amused. He looks withdrawn; sad.

"She looks just like her mother," a man, Alphazar, said from a door way behind the unidentified man. Alphazar looked so tired, but happy.

"What happened to the other girl? The princess?" The man said in a low grumbly voice as he yanked his finger from the child. Wide blue eyes filled with tears and the baby started howling. Alphazar pushed past the tall dark man and picked up the baby, cradling her in his arms.

"It doesn't matter. It was taken care of. And now we have Stella. And brother," Alphazar turned a sharp eye to the man. "You will not speak a word to this ordeal to Anastarria. She would never forgive either of us." The brothers stared at each other a long time. Both their gazes were hard and said the same thing.

_I would kill you if I had the chance. _

"And should _he _come for her? Once he realizes he has been cheated?"

"He won't. He has what he wanted, as far as he can tell."

"He isn't stupid."

"We will pray he doesn't question his prize for a long time. At least until I am dead."

"You would leave the child to deal with him alone?" The tall mans eyes widened in an exasperated, horrified look. Alphazar was a coward, he realized as the smaller man only looked into the face of the infant and said nothing. His own brother, a coward. 'And what am I?' he wondered.

The bigger man squared his shoulders after a minute, and stalked out of the room. His footsteps thundered (although it wasn't entirely possible, it was a dirt floor you know) through out the house until at last the door of the hut slammed closed at his back. The hawk nosed mans thin lips quivered as he walked away from the hut and down the path. He would not allow himself to cry, but he looked as if he might want to. The wind tousled his hair, making it float into is face. He ignored it as he hurried his pace into the forest. He walked through the trees like a wraith, unafraid of what wait inside the dark. Only afraid of what lay in the girls future.

**Stella**

My eyes flutter open against the sun light. I felt like a dead weight was lying on my chest. Indeed, there was. Merlin was curled up beside me, fast asleep, with his head on my chest and his arm wrapped snugly around me. I could see the stiff tear stains on his hollow cheeks from the way his head was positioned. The stains of his tears made me mull over the dream with the seemingly broken man in it. Who was he? I couldn't bring myself to believe that it was just a dream. I had always believed that dreams always held some truth in them. Desires, the past, the future, warnings, explanations, they all worked inside a dream. It was just a puzzle a person had to figure out.

I wished Morgana was here to help me figure it out. Morgana has many dreams that frighten her, but they've all been warnings, or insight to the near future, as far as I've seen. But mine was of the past. Figuring out what the dream meant might help with the situation Camalot was in now. At least my situation. An explanation of why I kept being squared out and attacked would be greatly appreciated. My father kept talking about someone, and his prize. And that dark, large man peeked my curiosity. Who was he? I hadn't known that my father had had a brother. I'd never seen him in my life.

And Arthur. He was on my mind as always. I had to figure out what was going on with him. He had been so...different yesterday. was it yesterday, or the day before? I couldn't remember. Merlin's arms tightened around me as if he sensed my traitor thoughts. I needed to get away from thinking on the prince.

The door opened and Gaius stooped in wearing his usual brown attire. In his hands he carried a large wooden tray with a wooden bowl, bread slices on a plate, a tin of water or milk, and silverware. He smiled at me and set the tray on the dresser next to where I lay. "Little something to eat," he says and sits in the single wooden chair in the room. He took hold of the tin of what ever it was and a small rectangle box from the tray that I hadn't taken note of before. "I thought you would like to know what I was putting in your water before I gave it to you."

I nodded with my eyebrows pulled upward.

"It should help you. Merlin went against my orders and got this for you," Gaius said as neutral as possible as he opened the rectangle box. Inside was a dead flower, the color of the sky on a bright day. At least it would have been if it wasn't for the brown and black marring its petals. It was shaped like a half bloomed rose and its leaves were crusty and falling apart. The old man stared at it a moment in bright amazement. "I haven't seen this plant in nearly forty years," Gaius breathes.

"What is it?"

"Obitus Flore. It has the name of death, but it was once used to make a great healing potion. It was said to be able to cure most anything before Uther declared they were a key ingredient to witch craft. In a way he was right. This flower was a way to cheat death." He took the petals, the stem, everything, and crushed it into the water. He held the tin out to me so that I could see the water become a thick bluish-purple substance. I wrinkled my nose in distaste.

"I have to drink that?"

Gaius laughed a little and nodded as he held it to my lips. _Here goes nothing, _I thought as I pinched my eyes closed and sipped. It didn't have any particular aroma that I could pick up, but it tasted like some kind of berry covered in dirt and something indistinct. He made me drink it all, and after it was gone I smacked my lips. Gaius gave me some of the oatmeal that was in the bowl. There were chopped dates in it and brown sugar from the kitchens. I felt myself feeling wound up with energy I hadn't had this week. I still felt sick inside, but at least I had energy. Excitement went through me with this new strength.

"Gaius," I said after a moment. He raised his old eyebrow at me. "I had a dream about me as a baby, about my dad, and some unknown man that my dad called his brother. It was so real. I wish I knew who he was."

"Dreams are very curious things."

"Yes..." I murmured as I stared out the window again.


	10. From the Past

**Hey guys! Chapter ten is finally up! Where are all my reviewers? I miss you guys! Again, I'm sorry about the lack of consistent updates, but really I can't help it. I'm working on it, I promise. **

**Chapter 10. From the Past**

**1st person**

It was like magic. I felt healthy as a horse and over the week I had begun to gain weight. Not much, only about five pounds, but it's getting somewhere. I started taking double shifts to make up for the chores I had jipped out on. It's not that bad really. At least I didn't have to muck out the horse stables like poor Merlin.

Merlin and I got even closer, if that's possible. After the scare we went through the past month, he seemed to hover over me, making sure I was all right, and often got Arthur to berate him for it. I made and brought breakfast to the king, and to the lovely Lady Morgana. I stitched Prince Arthurs torn shirts, and polished his boots. I swept the floors and dusted the urns and watered the plants and weeded the gardens and helped wash the laundry and made the beds in the guest rooms. I was always doing something to keep me busy and the only ones who complained were Merlin and Gwen.

As of now, I am carrying a stack of scrolls of parchment to Arthur. My slippers hardly make a sound on the hard floor. I walked past Uthers room and overheard his conversation with someone.

"He will be staying with us for a while. Not too long, but for a while," Uther uttered.

"Yes, but who is he? He shows up off of the face of the earth after what, twenty years? And what does he want with the girl? It makes no sense!" This voice was strange to me. I'd never heard it before in my life.

"We will keep a close watch on him. Stella will wait on him and keep him comfortable. Perhaps she can discover what he wants and be on his way. He claims to be her uncle, her only living relative. If he wishes to take her away then so be it. I cannot stop that."

"And what of Arthur? He's pulled so many strings to keep her out of trouble throughout their teen years and she doesn't even know it! It's obvious he enjoys having her around."

"Arthur would do the same thing for Guinevere, or any other of the servants for that matter, if they ever manage to get into trouble! That girl just loves trouble."

That was insulting! I puffed my chest up a bit and blew my bangs out of my face as I hurriedly stalked toward Arthurs room. My irritation was warn out by the time I reached my destination, though. Now my curiosity was nagging at me. I suppose maybe that's what gets me into so much trouble.

* * *

**2nd person**

_Stella brushed her hair back behind her ear and stared at the glass of water sitting on the table in front of her. Her frustration was growing because she couldn't manage to get it to tip over like she had the last time. She hadn't even touched it, just wished the glass would shatter because she was angry, and the glass had tipped over and spilt water everywhere. It had gotten her dress wet but she hadn't cared. Now that she was calmed down (well, enough that she was frustrated and not angry) the dang glass wouldn't do anything! The ten year old soon gave up and stomped from the house and up the path to the village to throw sticks at some loose chickens. _

_Stella kicked up stones and dirt and coughed as the dirt decided to float up into her nose and mouth. Her eyes stung with tears until she finally cleared the dust from her system and wiped her face clean. Sighing, she went into the town and picked up a few sticks along the way to get at the flightless birds. The chickens crooned and pecked at her as they ran around trying to avoid the sticks she threw and poked at them with. The loud squeal of a pig caught her attention and she stood up straight. The chickens kept pecking at her but she ignored them. There was a beefy looking man with a sweaty brow and greasy black hair wrestling with a pig in it's pen. Stella crept closer to get a better look as the man jumped and encased the fat pig in his arms. _

_The man gave the animal a quick thunk on the head which made it squeal again and it's movements became lazy, as if it were dizzy. The man climbed out of the pen with the pig in his arms and stalked briskly to a wide tent with a rank smell coming from it. The girl followed after. She watched the man hold the pig until a skinnier boy about seventeen came from the shadows and held the pig down firmly. The beefy man grabbed a huge painful looking knife from a block sitting on the table near by. Stella's curiosity and sudden terror made her scoot into the tent and hide behind a large packing crate. She crouched and held her hand over her nose to block out the terrible smell of rotted, over heated, and dried blood that never got washed off of the various tables and counters and from the parts that fell to the floor. _

_The man held the knife back and brought it down onto the pig with a loud 'THUD'. The teenage boy made a face and turned his head as if to hurl and Stella accidently let out a loud squeak. Her body wanted to convulse with repulsion and horror. Both of the men looked at her and while the teen looked neutral, the older man looked outraged. He set down his knife and made to capture the intruder. Stella let out a terrified yelp and tried to run. Surely, this man planned to butcher her like the pig! Stella was sure of it and felt like fainting as the man grabbed her by the collar of her dress and held her to get a good look at her. _

_"What are you doing here?" He demanded. "You didn't need to see that, you stupid girl!" His face was red with anger as he shook her like a rag doll. "Get out of here!" He dragged her to the exit of the tent and set her in the road. "Don't let me catch you around here again, or next time you might get scarred." She knew it! He'd hurt her! What if she told her papa? He'd probably hurt him too. Better to keep this to herself, she thought. _

_She hastily ran from the scene, knocking over crates of fruits and veggies. A foot stuck out and Stella barely had time to stop before tripping on it. Rinnae jumped from behind a stand._

* * *

**1st person**

I couldn't remember a lot of things from my childhood, but getting into trouble was what I remembered the most of. And Rennae; who could forget her? After delivering Arthur his scrolls I had a short break and decided to go into the commons. The stone circular commons was bustling with people carrying goods and shuffling along carts and shouting and women coddling their children. These things happened everyday and nothing peculiar was happening. And it was as if I had jinxed it by thinking about her, because Rinnae was making her way up the stone steps towards me. Her hair was pulled into a low ponytail and her dress was a pretty pink color. Walking with her was her sister, Ana. Her hair was a pretty Chesnutt color and fell in waves down her back. Her dress was a deep purple color.

"Rinnae, Ana," I greeted. Rinnae smiled at me and Ana seemed to shy away but her older sister nudged her with her elbow.

"H-hello, S-stella," Ana said timidly. I gave her a small smile. It had been forever since I seen the girl.

"Just wanted to come see how you were doing. I would have come while you were sick, but the king wasn't allowing anyone outside the castle to see you," Rinnae was apologetic and I couldn't feel any resentment toward her. I was too forgiving for my own good.

"It's fine. I'm much better now. Back to my duties. I'm taking a small break, if you want to join me," I surprised myself by asking. Rinnae nodded her head and I stepped down to her and we decided to just lounge on the steps because none of us could think of something to do.

"So, what's happening in the stone walls?"

"Nothing out of the usual, I suppose," I answered. "Well, some guy is coming here to stay for a little while, which isn't out of the ordinary, but...he has something to do with me. I don't know what."

"A relative?"

"King Uther thinks so. I've never heard of him though. Father told me he was an only child."

"You h-had a dream about h-h-him," Ana spoke softly. My eyes widen a fraction as I stare at her.

"How did you know? I had a dream about a man who claimed to be my fathers brother, yes."

"I don't know h-how. I just do," the girl started playing with her fingers, knotting them together and pulling them apart. "I had a feeling. L-like that day at the...the playground. I felt like you were in trouble...I could feel how your knee st-stung when it hit the rock in the dirt."

"Don't say that around the castle, you twit!" Rinnae scolded and hit her shoulder. "Uther will have your head!" Ana shrank back and didn't talk again throughout the time we had together. Rinnae made excuses for her sister as if I would be the one to turn her in for witch craft. I could hold Merlins secret, so I could hold hers too. Maybe Merlin could help Ana in some way?

I stayed and chatted for a while, but my mind was absent. All this magic was around me and I hadn't seen it before. And all of it is coming and biting me in the arse. Somehow I got intertwined with it and am paying the price.


End file.
